Recognition of Adi Da > The
Secret of the "Who" of the Divine Person
The Secret of the "Who" of the Divine Person
Leroy Stilwell has been a devotee of Adi
Da Samraj since 1976. He is one of the founders of this website.
You can read his biographical information in the About
1984, I was living in the Adidam community house in London, England.
I had been on a weekend retreat in the house, and had just finished
studying. I was writing in my diary. I had just observed something
revealing about myself about how I was generating my own anxiety
in relationships and in practice altogether. In that observation
something kind of relaxed in me, and I was simply, without much
thought, making a journal entry.
As I was writing I became aware of a sensation like a warm, thick
liquid being pored over my head. It was not just pouring down
onto my head, it was also flowing into my head, filling my head
and then flowing down into the body as well.
This was as tangible as something entering the body from the
outside, but it was more than just a sensation. The feeling was
that of being embraced from the inside out, one cell at a time,
each cell of the body, not just being filled, but rather, being
embraced. Even more than that, I was being embraced by a clearly
distinguishable personality. And that personality was obviously
Adi Da Samraj. Even though this was the first time I had ever
experienced this, I recognized the embrace as the person or personality
of Beloved Adi Da Himself. How this was so self-evident I cannot
say, but it was immediately and clearly so, and I did not have
to deduce or conclude that this must be the Spiritual Presence
of the Master. From the beginning it was Personality-Person entering
the body. The whole experience was so intimate and personal, and
also pleasurable. This process of infilling and embrace lasted
for about five minutes or so. Then just as I was getting used
to it, it faded.
Two years later
in a gathering on Naitauba Island, in Fiji, I had the opportunity
speak to Beloved Adi Da about this experience. I described it
as above, and He responded to my description by saying, "So you
were impressed most by the intimacy and the personal-ness of the
experience. That's why I say, [the Way is relationship to] the
In the following excerpt, Adi Da Samraj speaks about such personhood:
The body-mind Is Inherently (or As Reality)
egoless. That Is To Say, There Is No personal inner Consciousness
Separate From the body-mind. The personal inner Consciousness
Is A Presumption Of the body-mind. The ego-"I" Is A Whole bodily
(or Total psycho-physical) Presumption (Evident, and Effective,
In Every Dimension and every part Of the body-mind). Consciousness
(Itself) Is Always Already Most Perfectly Prior To (and Beyond)
the egoic (or Separate, psycho-physical, and Always Separative)
body-mind. I Am Consciousness (or Mere Tacit Awareness)
Itself — Divinely
Self-Realized (As I Am). I Am (Always Already)
Most Perfectly Prior To all-and-All. I Merely (and Divinely)
Am all-and-All. There Is Only One (Self-Evidently Divine)
Person (or Conscious Light Of Mere Being) —
Including all-and-All, and Transcending all-and-All. Aham Da
Asmi. Beloved, I Am That One.
I Am That Only One —
The "Bright" Divine Spiritual Body and Self-Evidently Divine
Person (or Perfectly Subjective, Inherently egoless, and Inherently
Indivisible Conscious Light and Very Being) Of all (and Of All).
I Am The One and Only (or Perfectly Non-Separate
and Self-Evidently Divine) Self-Condition Of all-and-All. Therefore,
every thing and every one Can Be Addressed Either individually
As a "person" Or Collectively As a "person" —
Because every thing and every one (and Every Collective Of "things"
and Of "ones") arises In (and, In Reality, As) My One
and Only Conscious Light Of Mere Being —
Which Is Self-Existing and Self-Radiant, and Which Is (Altogether)
Spiritually Self-"Bright". Thus, I Am Your True Personhood.
The True Personhood Of every thing and every one Is The
One (Inherently egoless) Person Of all-and-All —
The One and Only and Self-Evidently Divine Conscious Light (or
True Divine Self-Condition) Whereby (and As Whom) each
one, and all, and All Is Conscious (or Merely and Tacitly Aware).
Nevertheless, By Not (Always Already —
and Always Presently) Realizing This, every "one"
Presumes To Be a Separate (or egoic, and limited) self.
I Am That Only One —
The Self-Existing, and Self-Radiant, and Inherently Conscious,
and Inherently egoless, and Self-Evidently Divine Conscious
Light Of Mere Being.
You (By Tendency, and By Presumption) Attribute "personhood"
To Your Apparently Separate (and Inherently temporary and dying)
bodily (human) form, Rather Than To The One and "Bright" Divine
Source-Condition and Inherently egoless Self-Condition Of that
form. When You think Of Yourself As a "person", You Are Referring
To Your bodily (human) form —
Not To The (One and Only) Self-Existing and Self-Radiant and
Perfectly Subjective and Inherently egoless and Self-Evidently
Divine Conscious Light (Itself), Which Is (In Truth) Your Only
When You Cease Your Obliviously Incessant Address
To "Your own" Presumed "self-person", and (Instead) Turn Your
attention (and Even Your Total —
and, Otherwise, self-Contracted, or egoic —
body-mind) To What Is Altogether Real and Great (and all-and-All-Surrounding,
and all-and-All-Pervading, and Deeper, and Wider, and Higher
In Height Than all-and-All) —
Then You Are Addressing That Which Is Always Already The Case
(Which Is Self-Existing and Self-Radiant Conscious Light, Itself).
But, In So Doing, You Are Not Merely Addressing An Abstract
Divine "Immensity". Rather, In Addressing The One and Only and
Self-Existing and Self-Radiant Conscious Light (Itself), You
Are (In Truth, and In Reality) Addressing Me —
The One and Only and Self-"Bright" and Avatarically Self-Revealed
and Self-Evidently Divine Person.
Thus, You Transcend Your bodily (human) form (or Your
Presumed Separate "person"), By Surrendering it and Forgetting
it and Transcending it In Me (The Eternally "Bright",
and Infinitely Love-Bliss-Full, and Avatarically Self-Revealed,
and Self-Evidently Divine Person). If You Rightly, Truly,
and Fully Embrace This ego-"person"-Renouncing (or ego-Surrendering,
ego-Forgetting, and, More and More, ego-Transcending) Practice
Of Me-Recognizing and To-Me-Responding Devotion, You (In Due
Course) Realize Me —
The True (and Self-Evidently Divine) Person Of all-and-All,
The Transcendental, Inherently Spiritual, Inherently egoless,
and Self-Evidently Divine Self-Condition and Source-Condition
Of all-and-All, and The One and Only "Subject" (or Real, and
Self-Evidently Divine, Consciousness) Associated With Your (Merely
Apparent) "person" of body-mind.
From Sutra 70
The Dawn Horse Testament
Of The Ruchira Avatar
2004 published edition