The Wound Of Love




The following passage is Avatar Adi Da's most direct and impassioned summary of the resolution of the emotional-sexual being and of the nature and ordeal of Love.

Note: In this text, Adi Da uses an unconventional scheme for capitalizing words. For more about the very specific significance of this capitalization scheme, read our article, Transcendental Orthography as a Teaching Device.


The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is (By Virtue Of his or her bodily human History, self-Idea, and Lack Of Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Realization) Chronically Bound To The Ritual Of Rejection. The emotional (or emotional-sexual) Career Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A Chronic Complaint That Always Says, By Countless Means, "You Do Not Love me." This Abusive Complaint Is, Itself, The Means Whereby the egoic individual Constantly Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject, Avoid, or Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More Than A Complaint. It Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying and Precious Idea That "I" Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of Retaliation (Whereby others Are Punished For Not Sufficiently Adoring, pleasurizing, and Immortalizing the Precious ego-"I").

The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is Chronically and Reactively Contracted From all of its relations. Fear Is The Root Of this self-Contraction, and The Conceived Purpose Of this self-Contraction Is self-Preservation, and Even self-Glorification. Indeed, Fear is the self-Contraction. The self-Contraction (or the ego-"I") is The Root-Action (or Primal Mood) That Is Fear. Therefore, All Of The self-Preserving, self-Glorifying, and other-Punishing Efforts Of the ego-"I" (or the self-Contracted body-mind) Only Preserve, Glorify, and Intensify Fear Itself.

Fear, the ego-"I", Un-Love, or The Total Ritual Of self-Contraction Must Be Understood and Transcended. All Of Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only Destructive. And It Is Entirely Un-Necessary.

Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The Communication Of The Dominant Idea "You Do Not Love me". Once This Is (In The "Radical" Way Of The Heart) Truly, and Completely, and Most Fundamentally Understood, Then The Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Can (Always) Be Directly Transcended. Therefore (In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart), Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Chronic Un-Love Is To Be Summarily Replaced By The Discipline and Practice Of ego-Transcending Devotional and (In Due Course) Spiritual Heart-Communion With Me, and (Subsequent, or To-Me-Responsive) Heart-Magnification Of My Avatarically Self-Revealed (and Self-Evidently Divine) Love-Bliss, In The Heart-Communicated Form "I Love You".

In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way and Manner Of The Heart, My Devotees Understand Separate and Separative self (As Un-Love) and Transcend Separate and Separative self (By Love). And This Is Perfected (Progressively, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) By Devotional (or ego-Transcending and ego-Forgetting) Heart-Surrender Of the conditional body-mind To My Avatarically-Born Bodily (Human) Divine Form, and My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Spiritual (and Always Blessing) Divine Presence, and My Avatarically Self-Revealed (and Very, and Transcendental, and Perfectly Subjective, and Inherently Spiritual, and Inherently egoless, and Inherently Perfect, and Self-Evidently Divine) State.

If You Will Thus Be Love (By This Devotion To Me), You Must Also Constantly Encounter, Understand, and Transcend The Rejection Rituals Of others who Are (Even If Temporarily or Only Apparently) Bereft Of Divine Wisdom. Therefore, If You Will Be Love (As My Devotee), You Must (In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) Always Skillfully Transcend The Tendency To Become Un-Love (and, Thus, To Become self-Bound, Apparently Divorced From Heart-Communion With Me) In Reaction To The Apparent Lovelessness Of others. And You Must Not Withdraw From Heart-Communion With Me (or Become Degraded By Reactive Un-Love) Even When Circumstances Within Your intimate Sphere (or Within The Sphere Of Your Appropriate social Responsibility) Require You To Make Difficult Gestures To Counter and Control the effects (or Undermine and Discipline The Negative and Destructive Effectiveness) Of The Rituals Of Un-Love That Are Performed By others.

For those who Are Committed To Love (and who, Therefore, Always Commune With Me, The One Who Is Love-Bliss Itself), Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted As A Wound, Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved Is A Wound. And Even The Fullest Realization Of My Love-Bliss Is A Wound That Never Heals.

The egoic Ritual Calls every individual To Defend himself or herself Against The Wounds Of Love and The Wounding Signs Of Un-Love (or egoic self-Contraction) In the daily world. Therefore,  . . . The Tendency (Apart From Spiritual Responsibility) Is To Act As If Every Wound (Which Is Simply A Hurt) Is An Insult (or A Reason To Punish). In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart, The Reactive Rituals Of egoity Must Be Released By The ego-Transcending (and, In Due Course, Spiritually Activated) Practice Of Devotion To Me. This Requires Each and Every Practitioner Of The "Radical" Way Of The Heart To Observe, Understand, and Relinquish The emotionally Reactive Cycle Of Rejection and Punishment. And The Necessary Prerequisites For Such Relinquishment Are Vulnerability (or The Ability To Feel The Wounds Of Love Without Retaliation), Sensitivity To the other In Love (or The Ability To Sympathetically Observe, Understand, Forgive, Love, and Not Punish or Dissociate From the other In Love), and Love Itself (or The Ability To Love, To Know You Are Loved, To Receive Love, and To Know That Both You and the other, Regardless Of Any Appearance To The Contrary, Are Vulnerable To Love and Heart-Requiring Of Love).

It Is Not Necessary (or Even Possible) To Become Immune To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Become Thus Immune, You Would Have To Become Immune To Love Itself. What Is Necessary (and Also Possible) Is To Enter Fully (and Fully Devotionally) Into The Spiritual Life-Sphere Of Love. In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart, This Is Done By First Entering (Devotionally, and, Thus, By Heart) Into My Humanly-Incarnated Divine Spiritual Company, and (Therein) Surrendering To My Divine Spiritual "Embrace" Of Love-Bliss Wherein You Are Not Merely Loved As a self-Contracted ego-"I", but You Are (To The Degree That, By Means Of My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spiritual Grace, the ego-"I" Is Surrendered, Forgotten, and Transcended In Me) Awakened To Be (and To Show) Love-Bliss Itself. Then You Must, Through Life-Active Devotion To Me, Allow The Demonstration Of My Own Love-Bliss-Radiance In the world of Your human relationships.

If You Will Do This, Then You Must Do The Sadhana (or Concentrated Practice) Of True Devotion To Me, Active Love Of one another, and Real (True, Mutual, and Steady) Trust. As A Practical Matter, You Must Stop Dramatizing The egoic Ritual Of Betrayal In Reaction To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. You Must Understand, Transcend, and Release The Tendency To Respond (or React) To Signs Of Rejection (or Signs That You Are Not Loved) As If You Are Insulted, Rather Than Wounded. That Is To Say, You Must Stop Punishing and Rejecting others When You Feel Rejected. If You Punish another When You Feel This, You Will Act As If You Are Immune To Love's Wound. Thus, You Will Pretend To Be Angrily Insulted, Rather Than Suffer To Be Wounded. In The Process, You Will Withdraw and Withhold Love. You Will Stand Off, Independent and Dissociated. You Will Only Reinforce The Feeling Of Being Rejected, and You Will Compound It By Actually Rejecting the other. In This Manner, You Will Become Un-Love. You Will Fail To Love. You Will Fail To Live In The Sphere Of Love. Your Own Acts Of Un-Love Will Degrade You, Delude You, and (Ultimately) Separate You From My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Love-Bliss Itself. Therefore, one who Fails To Practice The Sadhana Of Love In his or her human relationships Will, By That Failure, Turn Away (or Contract) From Real (Acausal) God (or The Divine Self-Condition, and Source-Condition, That Is Reality Itself).

Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded, When Necessary and Endure That Wound (or Hurt). Do Not Punish the other In Love. Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant one another The Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants To Love and To Be Loved By the other In Love. Therefore, Love. Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort To Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel The Hurt Of Not Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become The Feeling Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable, and (Thus) Not Insulted. If You Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) To Love.

The Habit Of Reacting To Apparent Rejection (By others) As If It Were An Insult Always Coincides With (and Only Reveals) The Habit Of Rejecting (or Not Loving) others. Any one whose Habitual Tendency Is To Reject and Not Love others (In The Face Of their Apparent Acts Of Rejection and Un-Love) Will Tend To Reject and Not Love others Even When they Are Only Loving. Narcissus The Personification Of the ego, the self-Contraction, or The Complex Avoidance Of Relationship Is Famous For his Rejection Of The Lady, Echo (who Only Loved him). Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me Be Vulnerable In Love. If You Remain Vulnerable In Love, You Will Still Feel Love's Wound, but You Will Remain In Love. In This Manner, You Will Always Remain In The human (and, Ultimately, Divine) Sphere Of My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Person Of Love-Bliss.The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To Be Love In every moment. Do This By Means Of Devotional (and, In Due Course, Spiritual) Communion With Me. If You Always Do This (moment to moment) Devotional (and, In Due Course, Spiritual) Communion With Me, Then, By Means Of Every Act Of life, You Will Always (moment to moment) Do What and As You Are In Devotional (and, In Due Course, Spiritual) Communion With Me.

In The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given "Radical" Way Of The Heart (or Way Of Adidam), My Rightly Practicing Devotee Is (and Remains) Always Founded In The moment to moment Capability Of Love, By Means (and By Virtue) Of his or her Constant Devotional (and, As The Case May Be, Spiritual) Heart-Communion With Me. Therefore, If any such a one Fails To Be Steady In Heart-Communion With Me, Then he or she Will Become Weak In Love. And To Be Weak In Love (In The Context Of Any Stage Of Life) Is To Be Always Already Independent, Insulted, Empty With Craving, In Search Of Love, Manipulative, Un-Happy, and Moved To Punish, Betray, and Destroy all relationships. Such a Weak one Always Already Feels Rejected and Is Never Satisfied. Indeed, such a one Is Not Even Found To Be Truly Lovable By others. Therefore, By Always Surrendering self-Contraction (By Means Of True Devotional, and, In Due Course, Spiritual, Communion With Me), Be Always Only Sudden Love In Every Act Of life.

By Actively egoically Not Loving (or By Actively egoically Disliking, Actively egoically Rejecting, Actively egoically Hating, or, In Any Manner, Actively egoically Un-Loving) what and whom You (egoically) Do Not Love, You Mutilate (and, Effectively, Destroy) Your Own psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted body-mind). Likewise, By their Actively egoically Not Loving You, every what or who (In The self-Contracted, or egoic, Manner) Does Not Love You Cannot but Mutilate (and, Effectively, Destroy) its own (or his or her own) psycho-physical Integrity (or Hearted body-mind). Understand This. Activate Your lifetime On The Basis Of This Twofold Understanding. Thoroughly (and Most Fundamentally) Understand Your ego-"I", and (By The Really and Truly Effective Counter-egoic Means I Reveal and Give To You, and To every one and all), Actively (Constantly), and In The ego-Transcending Manner, Love each and every thing and one In Me.

Always Actively Be My True Devotee Always Actively Heart-Radiating (Through and Beyond all self-Contraction) To Me Even (Thus and Thereby) Allowing Your Own (and entire) body-mind To Be "Brightened" In (and By) Me. Therefore, Do Not Do Fear, Sorrow, Anger, or Even Any Kind Of Un-Love In egoic (or self-Contracted, or Heart-Contracted) Reaction To any thing or any one that Actively (or, Otherwise, Apparently) Does Not Love You but Only (Actively, and Constantly) Do Love. Always Do This Love-Sadhana (or Discipline and "Radical" Way Of The Heart), By Actively Abiding In Constant ego-Surrendering, ego-Forgetting, and ego-Transcending Devotional and (In Due Course) Spiritual Heart-Communion With Me Always Yielding The Four Principal Faculties (Of attention, sense-body, emotion, and breath) In Heart-Yielding Love-Response To My Avatarically Humanly Incarnated (and Inherently Spiritually "Bright") Attractiveness For I Am The Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spiritual Presence That Is Ever-Present (Even To Every Heart) As The Always Already Spiritually "Bright" (Self-Existing and Self-Radiant) Divine Person Of Love-Bliss-Being (or Conscious Light) Itself.

Those who Love Are Love, and others Inevitably Love them. Those who Seek For Love Are Not themselves Active Love, and So they Do Not Find It. (And, Even If they Are Loved, they Do Not Get The Knowledge Of It.) Only The Lover Is Lovable. Therefore, I Call and "Brighten" Every Heart To Be As True Love Is. And My Every Listening Devotee, My Every Hearing Devotee, and My Every Seeing Devotee Is (By Me) Gifted and (By Means Of My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spiritual Grace) Enabled To Realize (and, Thus, To Really and Truly Demonstrate) This Radiant (and Radiating) Principle (and Way) Of The Heart By Means Of True Active (and Freely, Deeply Attracted) Devotional (and Really ego-Transcending) Love Of Me (and With Real, True Trust In Me), The One Who Is (Self-Existing) As Self-Radiant Love-Bliss (or The "Bright") Itself.



[1]

Adi Da's profound communication about the nature of love intentionally draws upon some other well-known communications about love, including the famous one by St. Paul. Compare the following passage from 1 Corinthians 13:4:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

with this passage from Adi Da's "Wound of Love":

For those who Are Committed To Love (and who, Therefore, Always Commune With Me, The One Who Is Love-Bliss Itself), Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted As A Wound, Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved Is A Wound. And Even The Fullest Realization Of My Love-Bliss Is A Wound That Never Heals. . .

Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and (Also) If You Hear Me, and (Also) If You See Me — Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded, When Necessary — and Endure That Wound (or Hurt). Do Not Punish the other In Love. Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another — but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant one another The Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants To Love and To Be Loved By the other In Love. Therefore, Love. Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort To Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel The Hurt Of Not Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become The Feeling Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable, and (Thus) Not Insulted. If You Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) To Love.

 
[2]

Related link: A devotee of Adi Da Samraj tells her story, A Sphere of Love and Compassion, about the "Wound of Love".



Quotations from and/or photographs of Avatar Adi Da Samraj used by permission of the copyright owner:
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