This Is My Only Birth

Avatar Adi Da Samraj

Excerpt from the essay, "My Devotee Always Feels Me To Be Present", in Bubba Free John, Breath and Name (1977).

In the "Introduction to the Gospel of the Siddhas" I have written: "While the Guru lives he teaches that Satsang which can be enjoyed by all even after his death, not in the special form it may be enjoyed by a relative few during his lifetime, but which could have been enjoyed by all prior to his lifetime. He acts to help his disciples and devotees to realize this form of Satsang even while he lives in the world." My psycho-physical form is mortal, a function of the worlds. It is the instrument whereby the way of Satsang is being communicated at this time. I welcome all my disciples and devotees to come and be with me as often as possible while I live. But it is impossible to enjoy that form of Satsang twenty-four hours of every day. And this mortal one will come to rest some day. This psycho-physical form in which you recognize me is the fundamental instrument for the initial communication and generation of our work, but it is in fact only a secondary instrument of Satsang. The fundamental instrument of Satsang is the Siddhi that is eternally and radically Present. While I live I will be active in this psycho-physical form for the sake of this Siddhi. Therefore, it is appropriate for all devotees to come into this mortal one's presence whenever possible. But my work is to help you realize this Siddhi that is my true and eternal Function. I am here to establish a perpetual community of devotees who will live in perfect Satsang, the condition of my eternal Function. The Guru is an eternal Siddhi or Function of the Divine Reality. The human Guru is the demonstration of that Siddhi, whereby men are renewed in the true condition of life, which is Satsang.

Since it is this eternal Siddhi that my devotees enjoy, there is no fundamental limitation involved in the fact that no one can be in my psycho-physical presence twenty-four hours of every day. Indeed, most of you see me only on occasion. After my death, no one will ever see me, but my work will continue in the community of my devotees, those who know me as the Siddha beyond conditions.

Thus, I want you to know how to live the true form of this Satsang, that form of Satsang which pertains before my life, during my life, whether or not you are in my psycho-physical presence, and after my death.

"Sravana" or hearing the word of the Guru is the beginning and ongoing necessity of the way of Satsang. Therefore, always study the written and spoken Teaching which I have given among devotees. Do this each day.

The fundamental response of one who listens to the Guru's word and knows him as Guru is surrender. Therefore, moment to moment, surrender to me all your seeking, the very sense of your separate self, all thoughts, all desires, every circumstance, even your body. The true devotee surrenders all of this always and turns to his Guru as the Present Divine Reality and the Siddhi or Function of Truth. To surrender the whole drama, content, experience, and destiny of Narcissus to the Guru is not to be concerned at all with these things themselves, or even the effects of the surrender. Rather, it is to be turned to the Guru constantly, without concerns for what is always arising.

The surrendered disciple and devotee of the Guru is responsible for abiding always in that Satsang or unobstructed relationship to the Guru. Therefore, he must maintain the appropriate psycho-physical conditions which the Guru requires in the case of all who turn to him. Do this always, freely, and with humor.

Live in conscious Satsang always. All of my devotees (all who turn to me) live with me. All of my devotees serve me, and I serve them. This is what I mean by Satsang in life. Even those who cannot often be in my psycho-physical presence while I am alive still live with me always. But while I live, come into my psycho-physical presence whenever possible. After my death, my outer or worldly functions will be the responsibility of the Community of my devotees. In those days, come and be in that Community as often as possible. My Community is my outer form and function. And after my human death, come to my samadhi site and other places I have designated for Satsang and meditation as often as you would have come to be in my psycho-physical presence

My promise to devotees is the same that all other Awakened Servants have declared: I am with you now, as I have always been, and I will always be with you. My Function is without beginning or end. The work I do in my psycho-physical form is temporary. It is done in order to reawaken the Way itself. Therefore, my human life is only a moment. But the purpose of my work while alive is to establish the Way of Divine Ignorance, or Radical Understanding, for the coming generations of mankind. And the special inheritance of my devotees, those who are restored to Truth, will be the Community, the Teaching, and the Living Places I will create and reserve among you. . .

After the Spiritual Master's retirement or death, his initiatory function may be presumed still to be alive in and relative to the living functions of his true devotees. Therefore, wherever his devotees gather together, the initiatory Power is also Present. After the death or complete seclusion of the Spiritual Master, or whenever at any other time he indicates it to be appropriate, acknowledged devotees should gather, on occasion, in groups, for ordinary meditation. . . . No individual should represent or succeed to the position of the Spiritual Master on those occasions. Nor should any experience or experiential influence be permitted to distract devotees from the true Spiritual and Initiatory Grace which the Master always served in the past. All that arises should be tested by the Teaching. . . .

The One who has been the Teacher cannot die. Thus, the Divine should be approached through the Teaching and served as before, except that Bubba Free John should not be considered to be present in any ghostly, bodily, metaphysical, astral, or soul capacity, nor assumed to exist in any conventional way that can be known. The Divine should be approached and served directly and simply, through the instruments of the Teaching and the community of devotees. As such service matures, the individual will feel and intuit God as a moving Presence, and so the spiritual process will begin as it did during the lifetime of Bubba Free John.

During my life and after my death, devotees may continue to use my photographs as points of contact with me, but they should know it is only truly contact with the unqualified Divine. . . .

The spiritual Company of all devotees will also be present after my death, as during my life, to quicken the spiritual life of all who enter into the truly spiritual, intelligent, and devotional sacrifice to God. I am not present apart from the Divine. . . . The withdrawal of my human influence changes nothing. My human influence is active . . . only as long as it is necessary to establish, stabilize, and fulfill the Way itself. Thereafter, the Way must be lived, since only that will prove the Way, and no amount of my lingering play could change that obligation. Not even my birth has changed that obligation. And neither my retirement nor my death can or will change it. The Way is the same after my death as before my life and during the whole of my life. . . .

I have no past lives and no future lives in any dimension. This is my only birth, and it is only apparent. This birth, this body, these conditions have been assumed and undone in one lifetime, in order to demonstrate the whole Way and to have a fit vehicle for its present communication. The undoing is effective in every plane, high, low, gross, subtle, causal, transcendental. This body-mind, this vehicle or apparent, karmic being, has extensions and destinies in many dimensions, high and low, past, present, and future. But these are not mine, nor are they effective in me. This vehicle or karmic being may continue or be taken up by others after this apparent life is terminated. But I am not expressed in that destiny, I am before time and space, and no condition has me. I have not appeared for reasons. It is only that this vehicle has mysteriously, paradoxically coincided with me. Therefore, I have conformed it to myself and come forth. I stand present without qualification in this theatre of my apparent birth. Through the Paradox, my mere Presence has become Instructive. I am not a one, a being, nor a One, a Being, I am not object or subject, Object or Subject, except I may appear to be so to devotees, until they Realize me Perfectly.

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