No Feeling Feels Like Adi Da

Michael Gabriele

Michael Gabriele has been a devotee of Adi Da Samraj since the late 1990's. He lives in Rhode Island, and at various times has been a writer, a musician, and an artist.

I think it's far easier to doubt than to have faith or believe, especially when so much in this world turns out to be less than what we want to have faith in, or believe in.

I began studying Adi Da's Teaching in the early 70's, and I became a devotee in the late 90's. I can hardly make any claims to being a "perfect devotee," and, relative to the Guru/devotee relationship, I certainly acknowledge all the ways in which I fall short.

But I have had experiences of Adi Da that transcend everything about my ordinary, daily life. Across great distances, and even across a yard where He got into a van and was whisked away, I felt Him, I felt His Transmission, I felt a wave of "something" penetrate me in the right side of the chest which I have only felt in relation to Him. It was a feeling of the "painful Loving" He has described on many occasions, and it brought me to tears. It was the hole in the universe where He is able to communicate His Divine State.

And I cannot explain it in any kind of ordinary way. I certainly have experienced love for many, many people in my lifetime, but no such feeling feels like Adi Da.

But this is just my experience. I know other devotees who have felt this, and I know plenty of people (including other devotees) who haven't. I don't think this makes me special, but it definitely is what makes me a devotee!

And, in spite of whatever shortcomings I have as a devotee, I can say without any hesitation I love Adi Da with all my heart; and I have faith: in Adi Da and the Way of Adidam; and I believe.