Perfect Love Touched My Heart
Meg Fortune McDonnell
Meg Fortune McDonnell has been Adi Da's devotee
for many years. She has worked as a writer and editor, international
speaker, stage and film producer, schoolteacher, priest, war-time
vigil correspondent, fine art photographic subject, event
manager, dance teacher, personal assistant, legal aide, book
indexer, caterer, and street performer. More at her website, TastingTheMoon.com.
In the following excerpt from her
The Moon: Adventures in the Meaning of Life, Meg describes
the first time she sat with Adi Da (then named "Bubba
At the end of this story is a video
clip of Meg reading a longer excerpt that includes this
in the eyes-closed quiet, without my doing a thing to make
it so (as if I could), my breathing lengthened and got unusually
luxurious-feeling. Kind of like I was a fish and could breathe
the water I was swimming in, if the water itself was life-giving
nectar. My body started to feel fluid too, because it was
being filled and buoyed up by the same invisible water — somehow,
mysteriously, the ambrosial buoyancy was all around and through
me and in me and even as me. I started to feel boundary-less,
continuous with everyone around me since we were all floating
in this sustaining, watery medium of joy. My ordinary sense
of myself was dissolving in the water like a sugar cube, and
it was unbelievably delicious and stress-free.
After some time
of this, I felt Bubba reach into my chest and touch my heart.
Obviously, he didn’t do this physically. He was still sitting
in his chair at the head of the room without moving, I was
just one among hundreds in the room who were also not moving.
But it was a touch as tangible as if he had done it physically
— I could feel it that definitively. It was as though he’d
taken his thumb and pressed it on my heart — if his thumb
were God’s perfect love, that is. Perfect love touched my
heart. Like a rosebud opening to sunlight, like a desert blooming
after rain, like a fairytale princess waking up when a kiss
breaks her spell, my parched sleeping baby heart woke up to
the knowledge of his sweeping spiritual love, to the certainty
that perfect, complete, unqualified love is the basis of my
existence, the basis of all existence.
Maybe this sounds
tacky, or even twinky. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so.
But if it does, the problem is with the limitations in my
ability to convey what happened, because there sure wasn’t
any such shortcoming in his spiritual touch at the time.
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