Finding Adi Da > Chris Tong > Part I, Chapter 15

Dancing For Happiness
Without Thinking

This is Part I, Chapter 15 of Chris Tong's book, Finding the Divine In Person and Waking Up From the Dream. The Background The Test The Dance Dropping the Conceptual Mind

The Background

In the "Crazy-Wise" process that Adi Da sometimes engaged His devotees for the sake of their growth in practice, all kinds of unusual, often spontaneous events took place. What I am about to describe is one such occasion that occurred when I was visiting the island of Adi Da Samrajashram on a retreat in late 1993.

Hymns To Me

The evening I arrived, Adi Da was in the midst of gathering with the devotee residents of the island in Hymns To Me (one of the Halls in which Adi Da held gatherings). I was invited to the gathering too. Shortly before I arrived at the gathering, a female devotee (who was on retreat, like me) — I'll call her Susan, to protect her privacy — had begun acting out in a rather dramatic way.

An attractive woman in her twenties, Susan had said to Adi Da, "I want to fuck all the men on the island!"

In His Crazy-Wise manner, our Beloved Guru turned Susan's dramatization into a "teachable moment" for both Susan herself, and for all the residents at Adi Da Samrajashram, particularly the male residents.

At the time, all residents of Adi Da Samrajashram, male and female, engaged in a celibate renunciate practice relative to sexuality. After much experimentation with devotees for many years, Adi Da had concluded that most devotees were not able to spiritually commune with Him effectively and consistently while having an intimate partner. So it became a requirement that, if you wanted to be a resident on the island serving Him directly for a number of years, you needed to be able to maintain a long-term celibate renunciate practice, without problem.

The Test

Now back to Adi Da and Susan, who wanted to fuck all the men on the island.

Adi Da had been considering this with Susan and the residents for some time before I arrived. And then, shortly after I arrived and sat down, He spontaneously created His "teachable moment".

He looked at Susan. Then He looked at the men sitting before Him (which now included me). "Which man is going to dance with Susan? Who is going to dance with her without thoughts of sex. . . simply Happy in Me, no thoughts, just dancing for Happiness?"

There was absolute silence.

Most of the men sitting there were celibate renunciate residents living on Adi Da Samrajashram. They knew this moment was a profound test of their practice, and anyone who tried and failed might be asked to leave the island. Perhaps that was not likely, but it always was a possibility, since it did happen now and then. Hence the silence.

But I had a bit of an advantage: I had only just arrived. I was completely ignorant of the source of the silence, or everything that had transpired before my arrival, including what Susan had said. (I only found out about all that much later.)

I also had dropped my conceptual mind before arriving at the gathering, in preparation for being in Adi Da's Company. (I'll say much more about this in a later section.) I had no thoughts, and was steeped in my Beloved Guru's Happiness; and — from that thoughtless place — Adi Da's proposal felt simple enough.

So, without thinking, I spoke up: "I will, Lord!"

Adi Da instantly pointed me and Susan toward the "dance floor" (the open space in the middle of the large room). The devotee serving as the "DJ" turned on some upbeat pop-rock music, and we started dancing.

The Dance

So "I" danced with Susan the way "I" played the piano at Club Rat: I had let Adi Da play me then. I let Adi Da dance me now. It felt like one long, extended mudra, where "I" wasn't "doing" anything — I was being lived, I was being animated, my body was being danced.

I was incredibly happy. Susan was incredibly happy. Even though Adi Da's Instruction had overtly been for the man who would dance with her, it was clear that Susan had given herself over to His Instruction as well. She had completely transitioned from "I want to fuck every man on the island" to simply being happy. We were being happy together, being danced together as a single Divine event, with no separation between us or anything, with the togetherness naturally, mindlessly magnifying our happiness. And we were being happy together in Adi Da, in His Radiant Field of Love-Bliss. He was the All-Pervading Source of that Happiness. He was that Happiness, and He was dancing us.

Dancing for Happiness without thinking
(with "cheerleading" support from my friend, Aniello, right).
(I've blurred Susan's face to protect her privacy.)

There was no problem for me because I had already dropped the conceptual mind before entering the gathering room with Adi Da.

It's the conceptual mind that thinks sexual thoughts when looking at an attractive woman.

It's the conceptual mind that worries whether you are going to think sexual thoughts when you dance with an attractive woman.

It's the conceptual mind that worries whether Beloved Adi Da was going to kick you off the island if you fail His Test, or in my case (not being a resident), worries whether Beloved Adi Da will be disappointed in you if you fail His Test.

Because I had already dropped the conceptual mind, I wasn't troubled by any of that! Instead, my head (and my entire body) was dissolving in His Bliss. And of course this was why Adi Da had insisted that the dancing be with "no thoughts".

There was just the perceptual mind — one is just the body — aware of (and immersed in) Adi Da's Infinite Radiant Field of Love-Bliss. From this place, everything is a non-dual continuity, with no conceptual separations between people, objects, etc. And movements are like a perpetual mudra: there was no internal thought directing my movements. A Greater Intelligence is at work, Living and Moving all:

There is a greater Intelligence than thinking and the mind, Which is silent, tacit, wordless. It is the Intelligence of the Heart. Avatar Adi Da Samraj

I simply was moved, we were moved, by the One Who was Living us and all beings, who also happened to be sitting in the same room, Living His human form. That human form was seemingly engaged in conversation with someone else (as you can see in the pictures above), but He was completely aware of us, and Living and Moving us.[1]

Eventually the conceptual mind does re-appear at some point, but that's no big deal. Once the capability to drop the conceptual mind has developed, it can easily be dropped again at any time.

And so, probably after about five minutes or so, a single thought finally did enter my mind. It was a random thought, about what dance step I should do next. (And completely unnecessary, because I'd been dancing mindlessly, letting Adi Da dance me.)

Instantly, Adi Da's booming Voice, full of humor, shot across the room to me:

NO THINKING!!!

And instantly, His Calling — and the blast of Divine Transmission that accompanied It — dissolved my conceptual mind again.

Then He danced us for another five minutes or so, with us immersed in His Happiness, and no further thought in my mind, until the music came to an end, and we sat down and re-joined the gathering.

* * *

I always laugh heartily whenever I remember Adi Da's Shout: NO THINKING! There was literally no time whatsoever between when the thought popped into my mind, and when His Shout reached me. You could say, "He read my mind" — that was true enough, but doesn't quite capture it. A better (and truer) characterization of what occurred would be: He is me.

* * *

Looking back, it's interesting to me that, after we did what Adi Da had called for and sat down again, He never mentioned it again. The moment had served its purpose. As I consider many other occasions where He had called for devotees to do something, and they had tried but were not able to do it, He would turn that "failure" into a extended consideration about practice. But when He called us to do something and we did do it, it was simply "right life", and no big deal — like Him asking us to eat a raw meal, and our just doing it. Being able to set aside the conceptual mind is an early step in the listening/hearing process (the first major period of practice), so it is, in Adi Da's view, an expected, early element of Adidam "right life".

Dropping the Conceptual Mind

Surrender the mind into love until the body dissolves in Light. Dare this Ecstasy, and never be made thoughtful by birth and experience and death. Avatar Adi Da Samraj

Because, through Avatar Adi Da's Grace, I did develop the capability to drop the conceptual mind, I'll "pass the Prasad", and say a little more about this, to emphasize that it is very possible (especially for devotees of Adi Da), and to encourage others to do the same. And this clearly was why Adi Da asked that someone get up and demonstrate it: to show that it is possible and to inspire everyone to do it.

It is not possible, in this brief section, to provide Adi Da's complete Instruction for setting aside the conceptual mind. But I'll provide some quotes from Adi Da's Teaching that were instrumental and inspirational in my own learning process, as well as some useful personal insights.

* * *

My personal motivation for learning to drop the conceptual mind was my relationship with Adi Da. Early on in that relationship, there would be times when I'd come into His physical Company, and I'd be profoundly disturbed by the self-consciousness that was arising — around making eye contact with Him, around what He was seeing when He looked at me, on and on. It disrupted my Communion with Him, and I really wanted it gone. I began to notice that it simply wasn't there at other times, when His Blessing-Force overwhelmed me. I wanted that to be the case whenever I was in His Company (especially His physical Company). And so that was my motivation for learning how to drop the conceptual mind at will. And, when I did learn how to do it, it was a profound relief to always be able to be "gone" before He entered the room (or, in the case of my story here, before I entered His Room).

* * *

Try not to think, and you'll end up thinking like crazy!

This is a well-known observation among meditators throughout the ages and across religious and spiritual traditions. Adi Da explains why this is so:

The Effort To Avoid or To Strategically Escape conceptual thinking, conceptual thought, or the conceptual thinker Is A Futile Strategy. It Is Futile Because It Is (Itself) An Expression Of The Very Same Effort (Of self-Contraction) That Is The Stressful Origin Of Chronic conceptual thought-mind and the conceptual thought-self. Therefore, The Effort To Stop conceptual thinking Only Intensifies the self-Contraction, Reinforces The Cycle Of conceptual thinking, conceptual thought, and the Presumed conceptual thinker, and Generates Despair Relative To The Ability To Stand Free Of The limiting Capability Of the conceptual mind (and the Total body-mind). Avatar Adi Da Samraj, Sutra 25 The Dawn Horse Testament of the Ruchira Avatar

So trying not to think is not the way to drop the conceptual mind.

For this reason, the focus among most current meditation traditions has shifted instead to some form of "mindfulness", where you simply allow the thoughts and watch them. There is an element of that in the meditation practice of Adidam, as well:

First, surrender all stressful intentions to control, manipulate, change, escape, diminish, maintain, expand, or otherwise confront the experiential states of the body-mind. Let body and mind be as they will. Let physical states come and stay or go. Let states of mind come and stay or go. Let states of emotion come and stay or go. Just be aware of whatever is arising. Avatar Adi Da Samraj, The Bodily Worship of the Living God

This supportive practice of "relaxed inspection" does not mention any specific "object of meditation". Some mindfulness practices stop there, with no specific object of meditation. Other meditation practices introduce an "object of meditation": a candle flame, the vision of a place you like or find peace in, a Name of God, an image of God, etc. The great advantage of our Way is that, as devotees of Adi Da, we have direct access to "the Supreme Object of Meditation": the Divine Person (in accessible human form):

I Am the Object of meditation for My devotees. Indeed, I Am the meditation itself. Avatar Adi Da Samraj (March 11, 1973) "The Heaven-Born Gospel Of The Ruchira Avatar", My "Bright" Word

And so our core practice of "Radical Devotion" involves locating and turning attention to Adi Da, rather than placing it on any thoughts that may be arising:

Instead of wandering in the maze of thoughts, give Me the faculty of mind — which is epitomized by, and as, attention (itself). Avatar Adi Da Samraj "The Searchless Essence of Radical Devotion To Me" Volume Three, Part Nine, The Aletheon

However, in our practice of the Way of Adidam, we are called to go even further: we are called (and given the Grace) to develop the capability to drop (or set aside) the conceptual mind altogether.

You Must Realize The Natural (and Inherent) Ability To Set Aside The Secondary (or conceptual) Function Of mind — or Else You Will Be Dominated By A Compulsive and Obsessive Effort To think conceptually (By Dissociating From perception), To Seek knowledge About, To Interpret, and To Separate From (or To Strategically Dominate, or Even To Strategically Escape From) the perceived conditional worlds. You Must Enjoy The Natural, inherent, moment to moment Ability To Merely perceive, To feel, To be with, and To Wholly Participate In the phenomenal conditions Of Your psycho-physical Existence — or Else You Will Not Truly Understand what arises conditionally, Nor Will You Transcend the limitations Of conditional Existence. Avatar Adi Da Samraj Sutra 25, The Dawn Horse Testament of the Ruchira Avatar

For someone who has learned to set aside the conceptual mind, turning attention to Adi Da (in our practice of "Radical Devotion") is a simplicity, because there is no "maze of thoughts" competing for attention, when the conceptual mind has been set aside.

For someone who hasn't yet learned to set aside the conceptual mind, the "Radical Devotion" practice of turning attention to Adi Da (instead of our thoughts) helps weaken the "conceptual mind" habit through non-use.

The ability to set aside the conceptual mind is very much related to "'I' am the body": the ability to stand as the total body-mind. The total body-mind includes the conceptual mind but also includes the body. Chronic, unconscious use of the conceptual mind tends to cause one to contract down to a point in the head, as the conceptual mind, exclusive of the body ("By Dissociating From perception", as Adi Da writes in the above quote). When one sets aside the conceptual mind, one is restored to standing as the body. When standing as the body is one's regular position, then one can intentionally, consciously use the conceptual mind as an occasional tool, without also contracting down to being a point in the head.

You Can Transcend the conceptual mind (or conceptual thinking, conceptual thought, and the conceptual thinker), or All Analytical Interpreting and knowing, By Observing, Understanding, and Transcending The Act Of self-Contraction, To The Degree That You Relax Into Simple experiencing (or Merely perceiving, and Naturally feeling, and, Altogether and Truly, Feeling). . . In The Progressive Whole bodily Devotional Process Of The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way Of The Heart (or Way Of Adidam), Chronic (or Otherwise Fixed) Identification With the conditional self as conceptual thinker (or Abstract knower) Is, First, Replaced By (or Grounded In) The Feeling-Sense "'I' am the body" — or "'I' am the Total (and perceiving or Participatory) body-mind". Therefore, In The Listening Course Of The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way Of The Heart (or Way Of Adidam), You Must Truly Realize (bodily, Steadily, In Feeling, and Through Real self-Observation) That You, as the ego-"I" (or conditionally Manifested self), are the Total psycho-physical (or experiencing, and Participating) self — Rather Than the merely (or Exclusively) interior (or Abstract) and conceptually thinking (or conceptually knowing, and Not Directly Participating) self. Thus, You Must Realize That what You Refer To (and Are Aware Of) as Your conditional (or functional, and personal) "I" is the Total body-mind-and Not the mind Separately (or a "self" that Exists Interior To, or Apart From, the perceptual, or perceiving and perceived, body). When the conditional self Is Established (or Can Readily Be Felt) As the Simple bodily person (or the Total body-mind — Then perception (or Participatory experience), Rather Than conception (or Analytical and Inherently Separative or Abstracting thought), Becomes The Basic and Dominant Mode Of conditional Existence. When. . . the body-mind Relaxes Into Simple (or Whole bodily) perception, Then conceptual thinking (or The Effort Of mentalizing, or of conceptual Interpreting) Naturally Subsides (and, More and More, Becomes A Voluntary Process, or a Non-Obsessive function). And, If the body-mind Of My Devotee Consistently Assumes This Natural Participatory Attitude (or Asana), Much Basic (Natural) human energy is Released (Into perceptually Participatory activity) — and (Eventually) This Release Opens The Natural Doors Of the body-mind To The (Potential) Progressive Process Of Seeing Me (In, and By Means Of, My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spirit-Baptism), and To The Total (Participatory, or Whole bodily) Process Of Truly Spiritual Meditation (In, and By Means Of, My Avatarically Self-Transmitted Divine Spirit-Current). . . If You Understand and Feel Beyond the self-Contraction in this moment, Then You Are Presently Restored To Direct perception (or Participatory experience). Avatar Adi Da Samraj, Sutra 25 The Dawn Horse Testament of the Ruchira Avatar

The body without contracting interior to the body is a relatively radiant position, it's not resisting being the body. It's not altogether in resisting what the body is which is dependent on relations, food and others. It's become, by its natural acknowledgment of itself, continuous with all its likenesses, all things on which it depends. It becomes continuous but nonetheless it's still the ego. It's still contraction. This is what you must discover. You must first come to the point of understanding the ego because it is just a step in a process of self-understanding. It's not an end in itself, otherwise the beginning process would be the seventh stage of life and that's it. It's just a moment in a process of self-understanding. . . In the listening stage, there is a progress or there are stages of the demonstration of it. 'I' as the body is not hearing. It is simply an early event in the process of self-understanding or self-observation. To acknowledge the 'I' as it is which is the total body-mind and not an interior dramatization merely, puts you in a position to go further in this process of self-observation. Avatar Adi Da Samraj, "Beyond the Koan"

In the above passage, Adi Da describes the ability to set aside the conceptual mind (with just the perceptual mind active) as an early milestone in the listening-hearing process. One can't progress in the listening-hearing process without this capability. (And one certainly cannot "hear".)

As I'm writing this, I'm looking at my cat, Lulu, who is sitting beside me, looking up at me. She is a great inspiration! To be able to set aside the conceptual mind is something she already does effortlessly (along with all the other non-humans):

Non-humans are not connected to the world via conceptual mind, and, therefore, they have no problems about Realizing the Non-Dual Nature of Reality Itself. The egoless Nature of Reality Itself is perfectly obvious to the non-humans. Avatar Adi Da Samraj, May 11, 2008 "Observe the Non-Humans, and Learn from Them"

* * *

The conceptual mind does serve certain useful purposes. The ability to set it aside is not about getting rid of it altogether. It is about no longer being chronically possessed by it — to be able to use it as a tool, when appropriate, and set the tool aside, when it is not:

The Right Employment Of The conceptual Function Of mind Can Serve A Very Useful Purpose In The Original and General Inspiration and Guidance Of The Process, Discipline, and Practice Of The Only-By-Me Revealed and Given Way Of The Heart. Just So, the activities Of The conceptual Function Of mind Generally Serve A Useful Purpose in the common world, Which Is The Communication and Development Of conventional knowledge and practical invention. Nevertheless, all conceptual knowledge Is An Abstraction, The Purpose Of Which Is To Give conditional beings (or knowers) Power Over themselves, their objects, their environments, and other conditionally Manifested beings. Therefore, If This Function Of mind Is Not Kept In Right Perspective (Subordinate To Participatory mind and The Wisdom Of Reality), The Motives Of Power and Control Tend To Dominate mind itself (and, Therefore, the Total body-mind and The Total Collective Society, or social Culture, Of conditionally knowing beings). Secondary mind, or conceptual (and, Typically, verbal) thought, Must Be Disciplined, If it Is To Be Effective In its Proper Sphere. Likewise, it Must Be Understood, Kept In Right Perspective, and (At Will) Freely Set Aside When The Analytical and Interpretive Function Is Not Presently Necessary or Useful. . . Chronic, Compulsive, and Obsessive verbal thinking or Abstract conceptualizing (or The Chronic, Compulsive, and Obsessive conceptual Effort, or Search, To Achieve Power Over the world that Appears To Be Devoted To Exploiting its Power Over You) Is A Disease. It Is, Ultimately, A Fruitless or Futile Effort — and it Is A Symptom Of self-Contraction, ego-Possession, and The Absence Of Most Perfect Divine Self-Realization. Effective and "Creative" conceptual thinking Is A Generally Useful and Characteristic Sign Of the human being — but When The Efforts (or Searches) Of the conceptually thinking mind Become Compulsive, Obsessive, and Dominant, Such That verbal and Abstract Analytical thought Cannot Be Relinquished At Will, and things and beings Cannot Be perceived as they (Apparently) are (and, Most Ultimately, Divinely Self-Recognized As they Are), Then the thinking being Is Diseased, Bereft Of Wisdom, and Separated From Reality. Avatar Adi Da Samraj Sutra 25, The Dawn Horse Testament

My own daily work, as well as my service for Adi Da (e.g., including, humorously, writing this piece about setting aside the conceptual mind!), requires extensive use of the conceptual mind. But I use it for these purposes, and then I drop it when finished, either when I shift from conceptual mind work to something else during the day, or when I stop at night. You won't find anyone who falls asleep faster at the end of the day! There simply is no buzz of thoughts keeping me awake, giving me insomnia, etc.

I've also noticed something interesting: being able to set aside the conceptual mind (rather than having it "running" 24/7) seems to lead to a sharper, better functioning conceptual mind. Perhaps it is like any tool: if you never give it a break, you run it into the ground.

* * *

I've naturally become much quieter as well. Incessant talking tends to be the result of incessant thinking. When the thinking is reduced or gone, so is the talking.

Exercise thinking as an intelligent act, whenever it is required. Altogether, it is better not to be preoccupied with endless talking and thinking, better to be silent in mind and in speech. In order to be silent, however, you cannot struggle with mind and speech. You must practice "radical" devotion to Me, and turn all the faculties of the body-mind-complex to Me, be established in devotional Communion with Me, forgetting yourself. It is better to be quieted altogether. Altogether. You cannot do that by trying to be quiet, or by "self-guruing". Simply turn to Me and forget yourself. Forgetting yourself is the best thing to do — fundamentally, the only thing to do. When something arises, address it with "radical" devotion to Me. If thinking is necessary in the context of your service, fine — give whatever it is a moment or two, figure it out, and go on about your business. If it is just a practical matter, then a thought here, a gesture there, handling your business — fine. Avatar Adi Da Samraj My "Bright" Word

Talking is a primary trigger for the chronically active conceptual mind. Someone speaks to you, and the conceptual mind automatically starts formulating a response. That's also when you see people getting impatient for their turn to speak, because their conceptual mind has been spinning out a lengthy response and they want to open their mouth and release it.

But over time, with continued dropping of the conceptual mind, you will reach a point where someone talks to you and no internal response is being created. You simply are quietly listening. You literally have to choose to activate the conceptual mind to start replying. I now understand those moments when I'd talk to my cat, and she'd look back at me, lovingly, but with no response. Obviously part of that was that she didn't understand (much) English. But a bigger part was that her conceptual mind was not being triggered by my speaking. It's now also clear how we all could take long minutes asking inane questions of Adi Da, and He would just sit there, listening. He wasn't thinking "what a stupid question!" or formulating a reply. He was just listening, with no conceptual mind. It's a great relief to reach this place where one's conceptual mind can't just be automatically activated by someone talking.

One final thing about talking: more often than not, I talk without first thinking about what I am going to say. Being able to formulate and edit what I am going to say is still a useful skill to have, but it is not automatic and usually is not necessary. Most of the time, the talking is being done without thought preceding it.

* * *

The head should perpetually feel. The mind is the feeling of Radiant Love, the Bright. Always feel as Radiance-Only, with and as the head, as the whole body. Avatar Adi Da Samraj "I Am The Not-'Other'", The Aletheon

One very helpful supportive practice for setting aside the conceptual mind can be used if your head has some degree of openness, some degree of "downward receptivity" to Adi Da's Blessing-Force descending from above. [2]

At one gathering, Adi Da pointed to my head, and He told me (and the gathering) that my head was open to Him. (He then pointed to a longtime devotee sitting near Him, and joked that, in contrast, that devotee's head was sealed tight like a drum! No doubt there was a test or lesson for that other devotee in Adi Da's humorous comment.) Because of that openness, I have been able to make use of this simple, quick "shortcut" for setting aside the conceptual mind: Simply allow Adi Da's Blessing-Force to descend into the head, filling it with Love-Bliss. (It may even become so full that you can radiate that Love-Bliss with the head.) In this process, the conceptual mind is effortlessly dissolved. With conscious intention, it's easy to stay in this circumstance for an extended period of time, because no one would choose to let a Love-Bliss-filled head be replaced by a contracted, thought-full head!

The only way you can truly think is to feel with the head, but now when you concentrate, you contract the muscles in the head, you obstruct the brain, you knit the brow! You do not feel with the head, in other words. You do not trust the head at the natural, feeling level. Truly to think is to open the mind, to relax the head, to feel and radiate with the head, and in all relations to be available as pure attention. That is thought, consideration, the meeting itself, the Communion itself, without obstruction, rather than your present collection of verbiage and memory. If you allow this feeling-attention to be the mind, you will discover that you are very intelligent. The mind will become clarified, and memory will become natural to you, not something you have to be concerned about. It is very natural to remember. It is not natural to be able to read a page of a telephone book and remember it. Some people can develop the ability to do that, apparently naturally and without trying, but it is not natural to contract the mind in that kind of memorization. The mind is open. It is not contracted. It has no difficulty in maintaining the awareness, the so-called knowledge, the familiarity, of its essential content of existence. Therefore, you may naturally remember whatever is important. Genius, or great mental ability, is simply a sign that the unobstructed force that manifests all of us is available to the functional mind. Everybody has the capacity to grow in that way by not obstructing the head any longer, not contracting with the head any longer, by feeling with the head. Then the head becomes radiant. Avatar Adi Da Samraj

* * *

Another useful supportive practice in the setting aside of the conceptual mind is the three-part practice of "general conductivity", that is a basic element in the Way of Adidam, which enhances feeling with the whole body and standing as the whole body:

• Heart-Radiation. Self-transcending feeling-radiation, transcending all conventional and reactive emotions, and generated from the heart, in all directions, boundlessly, to Infinity, practiced by means of responsively contemplating Adi Da.
• Bodily relaxation from the bodily base to the crown of the head.
• Lung-breathing exercises of feeling and breath. Inhalation-reception, in descent, via the frontal line of the body down to the bodily "battery", assisted by easy upward tensing of the bodily base; feeling-breath-exhalation released from the bodily "battery" and radiated diffusely (in all directions) within the entire body.

* * *

Treating the mental space like a conscious environment also helps. For example, reducing mental clutter helps minimize the use of the conceptual mind. So I make extensive use of external memory devices (from notes on my desk, to reminders on my computer, some of which pop up at scheduled times). This frees the conceptual mind from being required to have to remember all that.

* * *

In the process of learning how to drop the conceptual mind, I discovered how powerful and broadly applicable Adi Da's principle of "handling business" (and leaving no "unfinished business") is. One's current, external surroundings are a major source of triggers for the conceptual mind (e.g., dancing with an attractive woman). But another source of triggers is internal: the unconscious/subconscious is constantly bubbling up "psychic baggage", troubling thoughts of one kind or another, that reflect unfinished business:

• unresolved issues from that same day or the recent past (work, relationships, etc.);
• longer term, unresolved issues that one is carrying around as psychic baggage for much of one's life (from early childhood traumas, past life traumas, etc.)

The more one handles business — both of the short-term kind and the long-term kind — the freer the conceptual mind will be of these kinds of thoughts. . .which only stop arising when the associated issues have been resolved.[3]

Here's a small but useful "corollary": In the period before you go to sleep, don't initiate any new business (e.g., by you or someone else bringing up some issue or problem that can't be resolved instantly), or you will carry it into the night with you, activating (and lingering in) the conceptual mind as "unfinished business", sometimes for much of the night.

* * *

Adi Da has identified boredom, doubt, and discomfort as the three primary motivators of egoic seeking. One constantly stimulates or distracts oneself to not feel boredom, doubt, and discomfort. And the instant one stops stimulating or distracting oneself, one begins to feel boredom, doubt, or discomfort, and that sets one seeking again for the next stimulation or distraction that will immunize one (as best as possible) against having to feel the underlying boredom, doubt, and discomfort.

Ego-bound ordinary life is characterized by a constant seeking-effort to resist boredom, doubt, and discomfort — by exploiting the functional possibilities of the body-mind-complex to try to escape the moment to moment arising of the ego-states of boredom, doubt, and discomfort. Avatar Adi Da Samraj "The Perfect Transcendence of Boredom, Doubt, and Discomfort" Volume Three, Part Nine, The Aletheon

We are always stimulating the motor and thinking mechanisms to overcome boredom, doubt, and discomfort and achieve well-being and pleasure. But those very mechanisms, by being constantly stimulated and brought to a point of achieving some sort of enjoyment, become insatiable. We require more and more remarkable stimulations of body and mind to achieve a relative degree of pleasure. The more we think, for example, the more extraordinary our thinking must become to satisfy us. We become addicted to the pursuits we can engage through motor activity and thought, and we are constantly agitated by this motivation. We feel always haunted by our limitations, our difficulties, or boredom, doubt, and discomfort. Avatar Adi Da Samraj Chapter 8, "Boredom, Doubt, and Discomfort" The Dreaded Gom-Boo

So the chronic stimulation of the conceptual mind in order to escape boredom, discomfort, or doubt, is yet another dimension of what needs to be inspected and transcended in learning how to set aside the conceptual mind. In short, it involves consciously choosing to not stimulate the mind for the sake of not feeling boredom, discomfort, or doubt. (That means: not chronically reading or watching/listening to the news throughout the day, surfing the Web, etc.)

Of course, as soon as we engage in such a practice, we begin to feel exactly what we have always been running away from: boredom, discomfort, and doubt. In the beginning, it's useful to just require oneself to feel these feelings, and realize that they usually are not overwhelming feelings, but just annoying sensations. This helps give one space on them; they lose a lot of their force when, instead of letting them unconsciously drive you to distraction (literally), you turn and face them down. In that position you can ask yourself, am I really going to let these little sensations bully me around and control my entire life? Because, as you get into this consideration, you'll see that's exactly what these sensations are doing. And that's exactly what most of conventional life is about: finding ways to pass the time so as to not feel boredom, discomfort, or doubt.

But weakening the driving force of these sensations by requiring ourselves to feel them is just the beginning of the consideration.

Boredom, doubt, and discomfort are not merely to be endured and suffered. Rather, it is always necessary to directly and intrinsically transcend boredom, doubt, and discomfort, by directly and intrinsically transcending the "self"-contraction, so that — instead of being limited to boredom, doubt, and discomfort, and the motives of escape — you participate directly in the Transcendental Spiritual Divine Self-Nature, Self-Condition, and Self-State of Reality Itself. Avatar Adi Da Samraj "The Perfect Transcendence of Boredom, Doubt, and Discomfort" Volume Three, Part Nine, The Aletheon

Our practice as devotees of Adi Da is to directly locate Him and His Divine State of Perfect Happiness, and feel that Prior Happiness (instead of boredom, discomfort, or doubt), rather than engaging in distractions and stimulations aimed at immunizing us from feeling boredom, doubt, and discomfort.[4] We are called to a Perfect, unlimited, eternal Divine Distraction, rather then a temporary, limited conventional distraction. We do this primarily through Radical Devotion, in turning the faculties to Adi Da. And secondarily, we can draw upon many supportive practices, such as: feeling to, through, and beyond the sensations of boredom, discomfort, or doubt, to Adi Da and His Divine State; or engaging in the general conductivity practices, which tend to break up and dissolve these limited states of boredom, doubt, and discomfort.

* * *

In summary: Most people suffer from chronic use of the conceptual mind. In order for our use of the conceptual mind to be conscious, intentional, and occasional (rather than chronic), we need to become conscious of — and effectively address — each of the many triggers of the conceptual mind, the combination of which creates the chronic triggering of the conceptual mind. In this section, we have mentioned some of the key triggers: talking; unnecessary mental clutter; unfinished business; boredom, doubt, and discomfort; and poor conductivity (dissociation from full, whole bodily sensation).

* * *

In one of the earlier quotes from The Dawn Horse Testament, Adi Da writes: "You Must Realize The Natural (and Inherent) Ability To Set Aside The Secondary (or conceptual) Function Of mind." Because the ability to set aside the conceptual mind is "Natural" and "Inherent", everyone has moments (even many moments) where we have set aside our conceptual mind. And I suspect most devotees of Adi Da have experienced the dropping or dissolution of the conceptual mind in Adi Da's Company (whether in His physical Company or His Transcendental Spiritual Company) in even more moments than most people, because Adi Da's Blessing-Force often dissolves the devotee's conceptual mind. What I'm writing about here is just a matter of extending those moments when we have set aside the conceptual mind into a moment-to-moment, personal capability.

* * *

If you need some motivation for doing the work necessary for developing the capability to drop the conceptual mind at will, let me list a few of the many benefits I've experienced over the years:

• Most important: recognition of Adi Da as the Divine is the core of our practice of Adidam. The conceptual mind blocks that recognition. To recognize Adi Da is to be immersed in His Divine State:

  Anybody who is recognizing Me is absorbed into My State. It is a profound Transcendental Spiritual condition That's how I tell. Avatar Adi Da Samraj, October 7, 2008

  That simply is not possible if you are contracting down to a point in the head, through chronic use of the conceptual mind. Thus, setting aside the conceptual mind is central to the core of our practice: moment-to-moment recognition of Adi Da as the Divine (and then allowing the rest our practice to be engaged as a response to that recognition, rather than on the basis of "creature power").

• Being able to set aside the conceptual mind is certainly beneficial in the (listening) process of understanding the self-contraction: one is able to stand in the less contracted, "relatively radiant position" of the whole body — and that feels much better than being reduced to a point in the head! So does feeling continuous with (non-separate from) one's surroundings.
  
  Of course having passed this milestone in the listening-hearing process, you are able to focus on making further progress.
  

• You can see from my story what a powerful difference not having the conceptual mind around makes in life and spiritual practice. At the gathering I wrote about, I didn't have to struggle with sex and sexual thoughts at all. . . I didn't have to engage a complex discipline like, "If a sexual thought arises, simply don't act on it" (although that is a quite appropriate discipline to adopt when you can't drop the conceptual mind). I had already dropped the mind that generated all thoughts, and so I was free of the dilemma I'd otherwise be suffering.

  That's why, even though Adi Da began His Instruction with "no thoughts of sex", He completed His Instruction by saying "no thoughts". No thoughts — period. In other words, He was instructing us to drop the conceptual mind altogether when we were dancing. And of course that's why He shouted to me, "NO THINKING!", when just one thought (a non-sexual thought) popped up.
  

• With the conceptual mind out of the way, one becomes capable of participating in the larger reality, and opening oneself to beneficial influences. For example, I've mentioned the Divine Intelligence, the Intelligence of the Heart, that Lives and Moves us all as one such influence we can now experience consciously, and without our thought complicating Its Living and Breathing us. Feeling like we are being Lived and Moved becomes more of a continuous experience.

• The conceptual mind is the primary source of the sense of separation of "outside me" and "inside me", "me and other". Setting aside the conceptual mind allows a continuity between the body, the world, and the Divine, magnifying the psychophysical aspect of one's living — leading to many more experiences of synchronicity (as earlier chapters in my story have illustrated) and more effective practice of the Devotional Prayer Of Changes, among other things.

• Anything we do that is impeded by self-consciousness, we do better when the conceptual mind (and all the self-consciousness it generates) is set aside. I mentioned how setting aside the conceptual mind eliminated the self-consciousness in my relationship with Adi Da. But this extends to everything involving relationships with others, from our intimacies and friendships, to our work relationships, and to our services to Adi Da that involve others (like the face-to-face Mission).

• I often go for the "same little walk" every day. When asked, "Don't you get bored?" my answer is always "No!" — because it's not "the same little walk". The conceptual mind is reductionistic. Among other things, it takes the infinity of perceptual input (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) coming in through our senses in any moment and reduces it down to a few concepts. So, on a map, my walk is often shown as three segments: Reach the first intersection of paths (beneath the big tree) and turn right. Reach the second intersection of paths, and turn right. Reach the little bridge, then turn around to start back. It even sounds boring! If I allowed the conceptual mind to take that walk, it would definitely be completely bored, since, from its reductionistic point of view, I am just walking those three segments, and passing those same three landmarks, over and over again.[5] But in fact, I don't take my conceptual mind along with me for the walk. And instead, I am standing as the whole body, from moment to moment, immersed in a perceptual infinity of colors, shapes, sounds, smells, tastes, with no conceived boundaries between them in mind, and which is shifting and changing even from moment to moment (let alone from one day to another). I am never bored! Heraclitus was right: "No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."

  The conceptual mind is also the mind that makes comparisons. So when it is set aside, one isn't comparing "today's walk" with "yesterday's walk", the scenery I just passed, with the scenery I am passing now, etc.

• Setting aside the conceptual mind also opens us to other beneficial sources of revelation and energy, including our own "higher bodies" and other beneficial beings. It even can open us to the thoughts of other beings, which we wouldn't "hear" (or receive) because our own conceptual mind is always busy generating its own thoughts.

Chapter 16

[1]		I had experienced that Greater Intelligence Living and Moving me on other occasions, some of which I have described in earlier chapters, including: when I was saved from a car accident when a Greater Intelligence took over; and when I let that Greater Intelligence — which I now knew to be Beloved Adi Da — take over playing the piano in Club Rat. Both of these incidents also coincided with the dropping of the conceptual mind (which otherwise would have gotten in the way).
[2]		This descent of Adi Da's Blessing-Force (and Blessing Presence) later becomes the "Crashing Down" process that is Seeing, after one goes through the Hearing crisis. But even before Hearing, one can have a degree of head openness to Adi Da's Blessing-Force, and that Blessing-Force can help dissolve the conceptual mind even before Hearing has occurred.
[3]		An illustration of how important Adi Da's principle of handling business is: most of our dreams at night (apart from actual astral dreams) are reflections first of the unfinished business of the day, and second, of the longterm unfinished business of one's lifetime (and past lives).The psyche keeps throwing up all this (if necessary, night after night) until it is resolved. The better we become at handling short-term business and resolving long-term business, the more benign our dreams at night will be. The bardos our mind generates after we die operate on the same principle: they are largely produced by the business that was unfinished or unresolved during our lifetime. This obviously points to the importance of handling our final affairs, and (at death) having "good company" in the form of family and friends who are going to release us from any concerns (or unfinished business with us) they might have. But it also means handling the longer term business long before one dies is a very good thing. It should be noted that, as devotees, our primary means for handling the longterm business is not psychotherapeutic, struggling head on with the psychological issues themselves. It is instead a matter of turning attention to Adi Da instead. The old issues lose their force over time (and eventually stop appearing in the mind) through non-use. (Adi Da, in "The Secrets Of How To Change": "What is simply not used is intrinsically obsolete — whereas what is opposed is constantly kept in front of you.")
[4]		This is an example of what Adi Da calls "The Lesson of Life": You can't become Happy. You can only be Happy." All of efforts to distract or stimulate ourselves out of feeling boredom, doubt, or discomfort do not actually result in our becoming more than minimally Happy. To actually be Happy (and be in the place where we can magnify that Happiness without limit), we have to directly locate Prior Happiness, our Native State, always being Transmitted by Adi Da.
[5]		It's worth noting that the conceptual mind includes visual thoughts as well as verbal thoughts. So if instead of the words, "path", "big tree", and "little bridge", I was seeing in my mind an image of a path, an image of a tree, and an image of a bridge, I'd still be using my conceptual mind, and it would still be doing its reductionistic thing, reducing an infinity of perceptual sensations down to a few visual mind forms.

Chapter 16