"She Is With Me"
Part 2: The Place Of Happiness



In July, Cathy developed an infection and was again hospitalized. She rapidly dropped into a coma. Her condition was critical, and the doctors were not certain that she would pull through. After several days, she opened her eyes and began talking again. She related an experience she had had during the time that she had been so critically ill.

CATHY: I went into another world. This other world was an ecstatic world where people were full of God; that is the only way I can describe them. There were at least twenty people there, two of whom I recognized as devotee friends of mine. I was in a state of total physical inability, and I would move from that into a place that was totally Happy. It was very blissful and easeful to go into this state where these people were. There was this feeling of Happiness running through this place, and I just felt totally Happy to be aligned to them. I would close my eyes and fall into this place. Then I would wake up to some degree and say to myself, "I am supposed to wake up! I am supposed to wake up!" But I could not really wake up. I didn't have a way to wake up, so I would close my eyes and go back into this place of Happiness. I don't know how long this went on, but it seemed like a long time. The only thing going on was this Happiness.

When I did start to be awake and alive again, everything had changed. I had let go of my concern. I just let it go! All these people in this place of Happiness had helped me.

When Cathy was released from the hospital, she tried other alternative healing regimes, but in October, the results of a brain scan revealed that the tumor was growing.

Jack's mother, Eileen Mulvihill, describes an incident with Cathy on October 24:

EILEEN: One day, Cathy said to me, "I am getting worse, right?"

In my fear, I became angry. "That is the wrong message to give your body!" I said. "Why don't you just say 'To hell with this cancer. I am not going to do cancer anymore!'" I hit the table with my fist. Cathy began to cry, and I began to wail. Emotions we both had been holding back all year seemed to burst forth. Soon we were both wailing and hugging each other.

"Let's go to the Communion Hall," I suggested.

We sat in front of Adi Da's Murti. I confessed all my fear, anger, and sorrow to my Beloved Master. It was obvious that I was clinging to Cathy, not willing to surrender this human relationship that had given us all so much delight. It was also obvious that I had to let go of that clinging and release her to her process.

When I stopped talking and wailing, Cathy looked at the Murti and began to speak very clearly to her beloved Guru. She said over and over again, "I just want to be with You, I just want to be with You."

In that moment, we both knew we had to give up our search for a cure.

 

Next: A Life of Retreat


Quotations from and/or photographs of Avatar Adi Da Samraj used by permission of the copyright owner:
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