"She Is With Me"
Part 4: An Easeful Transition

JACK: In the last week or two, I stepped back from my practical care of Cathy, and the community of devotees stepped in, which was really wonderful. The gift of community in the Way of Adidam is wonderful. I was so grateful for everyone's help throughout that whole time. Everybody just stepped in and started serving Cathy, helping her in every way you can think of, and making it possible for her to let go and also enabling her to be in a heart-sphere. She lived the last week or so in this circle of love. Friends of hers from around the world called and some came in person to say their good-byes.

EILEEN: On November 10, we received word that Avatar Adi Da was sending His own shawl and some sacred Gifts especially for Cathy, and that these would be brought back right away by Fiona Syme, a devotee returning from retreat at Adi Da Samrajashram, Adidam's retreat Sanctuary in Fiji. Fiona arrived on the 12th in San Francisco, where a friend met her and drove her up to Cathy's house. The gifts were presented to Cathy formally: She was wrapped in our Guru's beautiful orange shawl, and her body was anointed with ash and holy water He had Blessed. Flowers He had Blessed were placed on Cathy's head and heart. The occasion was filled with our Beloved Guru's Heart-Transmission.

JACK: In the last days there tended to be a mood of solemnity and concern, and that was hard for me. But late one evening, two of her lady friends and I were sitting in the room with Cathy and started telling stories about how crazy she is — because she is. She is a wild, crazy person. So we just started remembering times with her and telling these stories. It was like a party.

So we just got into this party mood with her, telling stories until about midnight, and then everything came to rest. Her friend Mary stayed in the room with her, and I went out into the living room and lay down. I was half asleep when Mary came out and said, "I think Cathy is about ready to die. Her breathing has become very, very slow. I think she's dying." Just as she said that, the phone rang. Someone was calling from Adi Da Samrajashram to say that Beloved Adi Da was asking about her at that moment. Immediately an intense wind began to blow. I felt that the wind was a sign.

Cathy died within minutes after that phone call and the beginning of the wind.

JACK: The vigil was a wonderful process — very, very graceful. I think everybody who participated in the vigil felt very quickly that Cathy was tremendously relieved. That's what I felt.

Even though everything that had occurred was graceful, it had also been a profound struggle. During the last period of her life, when the body and its functions were deteriorating, it was just a struggle. The body wasn't a good place for Cathy to be anymore, so there was a relief from all that.

DENNIS: I was studying Beloved Adi Da's Teaching at 7:45 Thursday morning, the 17th of November. This was after my morning meditation, and I was sitting on the couch in the living room. As I sat, I felt a sense of relief go through my body and Cathy appeared to my internal vision and she seemed relieved and happy. I did not know for sure, but I felt that Cathy had probably died. On Tuesday, we had heard that she had been given twenty-four to forty-eight hours to live. I had talked to Jack at that time, giving him my love and energy.

At about 8:00 a.m., a local devotee called and said that Cathy had died at 2:00 that morning. I went into the meditation hall to offer a prayer for Cathy. Immediately, I felt Adi Da's Presence strongly and was drawn into an internal scene in which Cathy appeared. She was moving through a great process of energy. She seemed tentative about the process and its tremendous force. She was frightened or confused, but she seemed to be trying to figure out what was next. She made contact with me for help. I reminded her to relax, release, and find our Sat-Guru. I repeated this single instruction for a while. At one point I noted Cathy animating her characteristic quality of "Wow, look at this! Really?!" relative to the process. At some point, she thanked me for my help and implied that she would also have to release this help connection. I reminded her to let go and release — Sukey was okay. Jack was okay. And she had been a good devotee.

Next I observed Avatar Adi Da as this Unlimited Force, Radiant but Discernible as Him, and Cathy as this small force, a white-ish being moving toward Him. There was an Embrace, a Union. It impressed me as Adi Da Being Shiva and Cathy Shakti, or Krishna and a gopi. This was the impression I got. It was ecstatic! I called out loud: "Yes, that's it!" Cathy was loving her Heart-Master. Cathy was a Bhakti of God. Then Cathy appeared as a white-ish being. She was full, happy, intelligent, and confident with her love relationship to Avatar Adi Da. She was on the other side now, beyond anything of her former life. It seemed she wanted me to communicate this to Jack. Let Jack know she was okay, beyond anything that Jack may feel about the "wrinkles" in their relationship — any guilt, crankiness, being ripped off, and so on. She seemed happy and full.