SUKEY: When I found out that Cathy, whom I loved and love very dearly, had brain cancer, I went into shock. I tried to forget about it. Naturally, this was impossible. Because she was so sick, I hated being at home. I tried everything to get out of the house, so I did not have to feel the sorrow. Cathy felt unloved now, and Jack felt abandoned by me. I tried to make myself feel better with food and making "cliques" with different friends. Then Cathy got really sick, and I left the house to live with one of my friends.

On the morning Cathy died, I rushed over. She was lying in bed, very pale, with an orange shawl that Beloved Adi Da had Given her wrapped around her. I cried, not knowing what to do.

Then Beloved Adi Da Saved me. He invited Jack and me to come to Hermitage on retreat.

One night, we knew Adi Da was coming to gather with us. When He arrived, Beloved Adi Da walked up onto the porch where we all stood. I was right in front, so I could see Him very well. He took me in His arms and said, "Your mother is all right." He kept repeating this and looking straight into my eyes. "She is with Me now and she loves you very much. She has told Me so, many times. Did she tell you how much she loves you before she died?"

"Yes," I said.

"Good. She loves Me, too."

All the while He was holding me close to Him, healing my heart. I kept saying, "Thank You."

Then He Said, "I hate death. That is why I am here, so I can bring everyone to Me when they have died. Cathy is with Me. She is so happy. She loves you, like she told you. She is listening to us right now, My baby. Right now. I will always take care of you, and Jack will take care of you. All your life, I will take care of you. I Love you."

"I love You too, Lord."

Then He walked inside, and I followed. I was invited to sit next to Adi Da on a big divan. He looked over at me and said, "She did not leave you alone. She left you with Me. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Beloved."

"You are a very mature girl to understand what I am Saying — very mature. I mean it. Cathy didn't want to leave you. She was forced to. She is very happy now with no narcolepsy and no disease in her head." Music was playing and devotees were dancing, and He asked me to get up and dance for joy, so that is what I did.

Later in the evening, I sat next to Adi Da again on the divan. I moved behind Him and rubbed His back for a long time. He turned around and Said, "Does she love Me?"

"Yes, Beloved," I said, "I love You." And He gave me a kiss.

Beloved Adi Da healed my heart from all of the shocks. He broke my heart truly. He told me to love Him, and remember Him always and to love Him. I love Him so much. I bow at His feet in joyous praise and love.

JACK: That first night on retreat, I felt that my grief and sorrow about the loss of Cathy was healed on a basic level through Beloved Adi Da's Grace. One of the things He Said was that Cathy's process was easeful. He Said, "I made it easeful. It could have been terrible." And it was truly easeful. It could have been very, very difficult. But she experienced very little pain or discomfort, and the process was quick. Her mother has been a hospice worker for years, and she said it was the most easeful death she ever saw.

Avatar Adi Da Said, "I did that for Cathy." And He looked at me and Said, "I'm going to do it for you when you die. I'm going to do it for all My devotees."