Finding Adi Da > Chris Tong > Part I, Chapter 17

Passing His Tests

This is Part I, Chapter 17 of Chris Tong's book, Finding the Divine In Person and Waking Up From the Dream.

Practice in My Divine Avataric Company is not about "making an arrangement" with life, not about "bargaining" with "God". Practice in My Divine Avataric Company is not about persisting in mediocrity. Rather, practice in My Divine Avataric Company is about passing tests, such that the total body-mind constantly goes through ego-transcending changes and makes an always greater and always new ego-transcending demonstration. Practice in My Divine Avataric Company is a "hard school", a persistently ego-transcending life—based upon the Great Purpose of transcending all limitations, transcending the body-mind-complex itself, and transcending the cosmic domain itself. Avatar Adi Da Samraj "Mere Concentration Versus True Surrender", The Aletheon

In early 1994, Adi Da invited me to leave everything and commit my life to serving His Work. At the time, I was a professor of Computer Science at Rutgers University (in New Jersey), and a world leader in my speciality of "Artificial Intelligence and Design" (creating AI-based assistance for human designers). I was also in a wonderful intimate partnership with another devotee. My Guru was inviting me to leave all that, and move to one of His Empowered Sanctuaries (the Mountain Of Attention) to be with Him and serve Him in a much more concentrated way.

One thing I was made aware of immediately, by the longtime devotees who passed along His invitation to me, was how rare such an invitation was. The culture of devotees was comprised of those who had already made this choice to give their lives over to the direction of their Spiritual Master (most were residents of one of Adidam's Empowered Sanctuaries); and those who had not made such a choice, and had worldly connections of one kind or another. Adi Da felt free to direct the lives of devotees in the first group, because they had "signed up" for precisely that. But He rarely gave devotees in the second group specific instructions to leave their careers or their intimates, because such devotees had not chosen to give over their lives in this way, and, in Adi Da's words, it was up to each devotee to "choose what you will do".

So this was a very unusual Invitation, and one I took very seriously, as an extraordinary Gift, an indication from my Spiritual Master of the true purpose of this particular lifetime of mine, and a complete and challenging life transformation.

Having devoted most of my life (as a student and then a professor) to getting where I was in academia, leaving academia was emotionally wrenching. This was particularly true with my having become a world leader in an area — Artificial Intelligence — that I knew was only going to become ever more significant and prominent with the passage of time. The thought of leaving also brought up fears of financial insecurity down the line. But, through Adi Da's Grace, I was able to release all these reactions.

I also was very actively serving Adi Da's Work in the Adidam New England region. I was the Adidam head missionary for the region, regularly creating and giving new workshops about Adi Da and Adidam to the public, in the Greater Boston area and in New York City. I was also the Adidam New England Chorus director, and created and performed a lot of new devotional music, like this chant for the celebration of Danavira Mela. (The audio quality is not the best and the choir is not professional, but there is so much heart-feeling in devotees' singing that I'm sharing it here.)

So this too was hard to let go of, but I felt there would be other ways I could serve the Adidam Mission or create devotional music at the Mountain Of Attention, and that would prove to be true.

The very hardest thing for me was releasing my intimate partnership. We had a loving relationship, and — apart from Adi Da's Invitation to me — we might very well have been intimate partners for the rest of our lives. As Adi Da's devotees, both of us understood the importance of His Calling, and we both were willing to respond to Him by making this sacrifice of our intimate relationship. But it was extremely difficult. We embraced each other, tears streaming down our faces. Once we made the decision, my entire body felt numb from an overwhelming grieving process that was spontaneously taking place. We made love, and the tears were streaming down our faces as we embraced each other for the last time. I allowed the intense grieving process to proceed without resistance, feeling it fully. After three days (an amazingly and Gracefully brief period), the process completed itself and I was released into the new chapter of my life.

I moved to the Mountain Of Attention Sanctuary in Northern California in the fall of 1994, where I began my fulltime service to Beloved Adi Da's Work as the head of Worldwide Adidam Education. Shortly after beginning my service, Adi Da gave me the following Notes:

Does he know that he is now responsible for the education of the six billion? [1] Avatar Adi Da Samraj

Over the next few years, Adi Da would have me serve in many different functions, many of which, directly or indirectly, reflected that responsibility to bring Him to the entire world. These services included production manager of the Dawn Horse Press, head of the Lay Renunciate Order, head of the Adidam Mission, Adi Da's cultural sarvadhikari, co-chair of the Samrajya Board, head of cultural education at Adi Da Samrajashram, and more. Sometimes I would be travelling with Adi Da, while other times, I'd be a resident at one of His Sanctuaries (in Northern California, in Fiji, and in Hawaii). I also served His Sanctuaries as priest at various Holy Sites. (For example, at the Mountain Of Attention, I was the Skyway Temple priest, the priest for Seventh Gate Shrine, and the priest for the Sacred Lingam outside Adi Da's residence, The Manner of Flowers.)

Chris Tong as priest, performing the puja at Skyway Temple at the Mountain Of Attention
(click image to enlarge)

It was a Blessed time, and I am forever grateful to my Beloved Guru for giving me those years in which I was so easily and fully concentrated in Him. When I was not seeing Him directly, I was writing Him about my services to Him. I could always tell when He was reading my report because suddenly His Grace would overwhelm my body-mind, the direct and very tangible result of my receiving His Regard in that moment.

Having moved to the Mountain Of Attention, after a month, I had fully released my former life and was fully invested in my life of devotion and service to Adi Da. And just at that moment, He gave the following Notes. I received a copy because I was mentioned in them.

I must always be free to have a devotee in the Institution leave their service and come to Me [at Adi Da Samrajashram] — like Chris Tong, who is passing my tests. So there must always be a backup devotee ready to step in and serve in all major service functions. Avatar Adi Da Samraj

(And indeed, a year later, He would call me to move to Adi Da Samrajashram.) I was delighted that I was passing Adi Da's tests. But I also knew that the challenging tests I had passed so far were just some of the initial ones in what He described as "a hard school, but a Happy Way of Life". There would be no end to the tests until Divine Enlightenment:

Devotees are tested to the point of Infinity. Devotees are obliged to live in the Fire and be purified. And only when you have been in the fire long enough does it begin to Enlighten you. When you have burned up in it, then it is Light. Until that time it is heat. When there is nothing left to burn, then it's all Radiant Bliss — not before then. Avatar Adi Da Samraj, "The Fire Must Have Its Way"

FOOTNOTES